An Undying Insanity
by Prismatica
Summary: Harry's experienced more in 17 years of life then most people could if they lived an eternity. ANd it's finally catching up with him. Harry's sick. Is the boy-who-lived finally lost it? If a friend and an enemy can unite under an acient prophecy he may be
1. Default Chapter

  
  
  
  


  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Prologue 

The Way my Life Should Have Been   
  


My life should have been more normal. I should have had parents. The only family I had left should have cared. I should have been a muggle. 

I should not have almost been murdered when I was a year old. I should not have been the boy who lived. I should not have had to live in fear of assassination my entire life. I should not have fallen in love.   
  


Not with....   
  


God.....   
  


I feel like I could vomit. Like I could spew forth the most vile and putrid concoction of partially digested food...oh god...I may actually be sick now.   
  


I don't feel like I can live this life anymore. 

I keep telling myself that it will be over soon. 

That I'll kill him... 

Or he'll kill me... 

Either way it will be over for me.   
  


Then everything gets more complicated. I'm feeling things I can't explain. About people I can't explain. Ginny loves me so much...   
  


How can I tell her I don't feel the same...   
  


I don't love her...   
  


That I love...   
  


Jesus.   
  


Put me out my misery Lord. 

God, I wouldn't ask for your help if I didn't think it was important. Save my soul. Save me. Before I'm out of control. Before anything can happen.   
  


Wild images of Sodom and Grehmora are flying through my brain...   
  


Or is it the Snitch?? 

I have to catch the Snitch... 

but if I do... 

I still lose.   
  


I always lose. 

And then again I have nothing left to lose.   
  


I think I'm going insane.   
  


I'll go to bed and dream.   
  


Maybe they'll give me a nice warm bed at St. Mungos, and I can sleep and dream....   
  


Not of....   
  


Not of love...   
  


Not of...   
  


No. No. NO!!   
  


I'll dream of the way my life should have been.   
  
  
  
  
  


An Undying Insanity   
  


Chapter One- An unexpected turning   
  


Harry walked out of the potions classroom with a slight daze on his face, feeling worse then disoriented. Worse then upset and out of place. The throbbing in his head growing steadily 

more painful. He ran his fingers slightly over the damned scar and felt a white hot pain flash before his eyes. Even a shallow breath over it could have sent him to convulsions of pain. Harry stumbled blindly. He's lost Hermione and Ron in the crowd. It didn't matter. He couldn't go to class anyway. He had to lie down. The dormitory was closer than the infirmary. He would go there. He couldn't stand anymore he could barely see. He was trying desperately to regain his composure. People were staring. He hurried and at a slow run turned a corner. He stopped and heard a sob escape he's throat. He couldn't see at all now. The pain was too intense. 

"Potter?" Malfoy sneered, "Cutting class? Tsk, Tsk, Tsk. I shall have to tell Professor Snape." 

Harry tried to look up at him, but he couldn't see. It was absolutely pointless. He was either going to pass out or die. He prayed for death. God let it end, he prayed. 

"Potter?" Draco peered down at the boy, concerned. He was sweating profusely. His eyes were unfocused, tears streaming down his face, his jaw slightly ajar. 

"Potter? Are you all right?" Draco got down on knees and grabbed Harry's face trying to get Harry to focus on his eyes. He stared with all his might. 

"Potter? Harry can you hear me?" 

Draco was worried, he may have been Harry's worse enemy but he certainly didn't was him dead... or insane. In fact, a part of Draco secretly loved Harry very much. More then he would ever tell. He worried at Harry's state. 

"Jesus. You've finally cracked haven't you Potter?" 

And still Harry lay silent. Harry felt as though he's lost control of brain. 'I'm not in right now.' said his brain, 'please leave a message after the beep.' Wild, half formed images were flying through his brain. Memories... Old memories. Memories of seven murder attempts. Of friends dying. Even enemies dying. It had always hurt just as much to see an enemy die. Harry got lost in his madness. 

"Harry?" Draco said tentatively, "Jesus...Harry please okay. You're really scaring me." 

The sound of his name grabbed the attention of Harry's subconscious. It found his voice and spoke. Grabbing the collar of Draco's robes and pulling his face down so they were only centimeters apart. The dark green eyes shooting painful daggers in to the icy mist of grey. 

"Would you kill me if I asked you to?" the voice asked in a strange rasp unbeknown to Harry until this point. But before he or Draco either one could fathom where it came from, Harry's body went slack. He was unconscious. 

"Shit! Shit! Shit!" Draco was panicking, "Shit! Don't be dead! Oh God!" He bent down and listened to the faint rapid heartbeat, felt the very slightest trace of living breath on his cheek. 

"How the hell can there be no one around?" Draco screamed to the empty corridor. 

He didn't know what to do. He was frantic. His worst enemy's life was literally in his hands. But then again, though his enemy(and partially because of that) Harry was also Draco's greatest passion. 

Draco gently laid the Raven-Haired boy on the ground and pulled out his wand. As he did, Harry's last disturbing words rang in his ears, 'Would you kill me if I asked you to?'. Draco gave a slight shudder and a sharp shake of his head. 

"Mobli Corpus," he muttered. 

He knew that he should rush Harry immediately to the hospital wing, but he didn't. He took Harry up the stairs to Gryfindor Tower. 

"Wolfsbane." He told the Fat Lady(Draco had been having an affair with Lavender Brown, she had given him the password so he could sneak into their common room at night. And he was glad now. It had come in handy.). The Fat Lady gave him a wary look then swung forward. 

It took Draco awhile to find Harry's room, and when he finally did he tucked Harry's in somewhat fondly, though still extremely worries... not to mention confused. When done, he ran for the owlery. He would send Potter's fluff ball to the mud-blood. She would at least hear him out. 


	2. Chapter 2 and 3

  
  
  
  
  
  


An Undying Insanity   
  


Chapter 2- Joining forces   
  
  
  


"Ron? Where's Harry?" Hermione asked as they sat down in McGonagall's classroom.   
  


"I dunno," Ron said bewildered. He hadn't noticed Harry leave but then again, he didn't pay attention to much anymore except for the delightful female that walked ahead of him. Ever since he had taken up with Hermione they walked hand in hand down the corridor; Ron trailing slightly behind her like a little lost puppy dog in order to watch her arse swish back and forth while she walked. "He was with us when we left Potions."   
  


"Perhaps he went up to the dormitory. He's been looking a little off color lately and I daresay he may be feeling ill." Hermione said thoughtfully, "Perhaps I should go check on him."   
  


"Class is starting soon, I'd just wait. I'm sure he's fine." Ron said unloading his pack.   
  


"Maybe..." Hermione couldn't shake the feeling however that Harry was not fine. She had suspected that he was growing ill for some time, though Harry denied it whenever she asked. "I'll just nip upstairs and check." she said reaching her decision, "I shouldn't be gone long. If I'm not back before class starts tell McGonagall where I've gone."   
  


"But..." 

Ron started to protest but Hermione had already dashed from the classroom, the need to hurry gnawing at the pit of her stomach. She couldn't explain her ill feelings, but she knew the sooner she checked on Harry the sooner they would be set at ease. Or at least she hoped. However in her rush, she failed to notice that there was someone rushing towards her.   
  


**   
  


"Granger!" Draco whispered as he saw the Mudblood racing towards him. He immediately quickened his pace.   
  


"Granger!" he shouted, "Hey Granger stop!"   
  


Hermione stopped and gave Malfoy a glare before continuing down the passage. 

"Not now Malfoy," she said bitterly, "You can taunt me later."   
  


"No, that's not it! Though since you've given me open invitation to make fun of you I will have to bear that in mind. Now slow down you silly idiot. It's about Potter. I think he's gone insane."   
  


***********   
  


Harry tossed and turned in fevered dream. The merciless red eyes were laughing at him, and he was enveloped in green light. He watched the deatheater by Voldmort fall. He just killed someone. He felt ill. He was becoming a monster, just like Voldemort. 

Voldemort looked at him with his ghastly serpent eyes before saying, "Next time Potter."   
  


Harry watched as Voldemort disapparated and wondered why he fled. Surely, he wasn't afraid? Harry stared at the lifeless corpse that a only a few moments earlier had been a living breathing human soul. He didn't even know who it was. The temptation to pull back the mask and see washed over him briefly, before he shuddered and turned away. He had killed that man. He was a murderer. He had just performed an unforgivable curse. He wasn't worried about Azkaban though. He knew he'd get a hero's welcome when he returned, along with a congratulations for taking down a deatheater. It made him sick. And for the first time ever in his life, Harry fell down on his knees and prayed for God to save his soul.   
  


************   
  


"Oh my God." Hermione whispered, raising her hand to her mouth as she watched Harry struggle with consciousness. She could already feel the tears welling up behind her eyelids. "He was like this when you found him?"   
  


"Not quite so bad. He was slightly coherent then but still completely...gone. Insane. He didn't seem to able to speak really, until he asked..." Draco broke off. He wasn't sure if he should tell Granger what Potter had said or not. She was already on the verge of crying, telling her what Harry had said would more then likely send her into fits of hysterics. He cleared his throat. "What do we do with him?"   
  


"I'm not sure." Hermione said thoughtfully. Her mind was racing. "Why didn't you take him to the hospital wing?"   
  


Draco shrugged. "I don't know. This was closer, and well... I just...didn't think I should."   
  


"Why?"   
  


"I don't know!" Draco shouted. Hermione was already breaking down. He would not. He would keep up his act of hatred. He was a Malfoy! Malfoy's showed no weakness! Especially over Harry Potter!   
  


Hermione considered this for a moment. The logical thing to do, of course, was to take Harry immediately to Madame Pomfrey and Dumbledore. But she had the same thoughts as Draco, though she couldn't explain it either. They couldn't know. Not yet. She wasn't going to have Harry locked away in a mental institution. She bit her liip in frustration. This was very much unlike her, but nonetheless, she couldn't bring herself to tell a teacher. Luckily for them, Harry was Head Boy and was given a private bedroom. No one would bother him there, or have to know how sick he was. She had a private bedroom also. That could be something of a base of operations. She felt very nervous.   
  


"Malfoy...er..Draco? I say you and I bury the hatchet for a while. Until Harry's well." she paused. "You do want him to get well, right? You will help me?"   
  


Draco considered it briefly. Working with the Mudblood was not something he really wanted to do. And did he want Potter to get well? 'Yes' his brain replied immediately, 'you now you do.' His mind seemed to be made up, but still..she was a Mudblood! An inferior! A Malfoy work hand in hand with the likes of Hermione Granger? What would his father say? 'He doesn't have to know.' said his brain, 'the whole point of you two working together is so that no one knows'.   
  


"Alright." He said sticking out his hand to shake, "But only temporarily Mudblood. My being nice to you won't become something permanent."   
  


Hermione took his hand and dug her fingernail into his tender flesh. "My name's Hermione. Not Mudblood. And I wouldn't expect you to be civil for long." She released his hand and draco tried to nonchalantly rub it where her fingernails had been. They were long and it had hurt like a bitch! "Now," she continued, "This is just between you and me. No one else can know. At least not yet."   
  


"What about Weasley?" Draco asked   
  


Hermione pondered it for a moment. Ron was Harry's best friend. Ron would want to know if something were wrong with Harry. But Ron was as bigoted as Malfoy, though over different things. He would not consent to work hand in hand with Draco, and even if he did, it would be more bother then it was worth and they would bicker incessantly.   
  


"No." she said firmly. "Not even Ron. At least not yet anyway."   
  


This made Draco feel better. Hermione he could handle. He could be polite and civil towards her. She was intelligent enough, but the Weasel... He gave an involuntary shudder. Weasley was incompetent in all meanings of the word. Weasley he would not be able to tolerate.   
  


"Aright," Hermione said tearing Draco from his thoughts, "We'll start tonight after dinner. Meet me in the library and we'll find some books and we'll take them back to my room. We won't be bothered there."   
  


"Great idea Granger," Draco drawled sarcastically, "And how exactly are you going to sneak me into your bedroom, which is in the Gryfindor tower, through a common room full of Gryfindors?"   
  


Hermione smiled. "Very easily. Now go! I'll see you after dinner."   
  


Draco left and Hermione quickly moved to Harry's trunk, opening it, and grabbing his invisibility cloak. Luckily it was so thin that it barely bunched as she stuffed it down the front of her robes. She gave one last longing look at Harry who seemed to have finally calmed down and was sleeping peacefully.   
  


"Please get well." she whispered. She knew that Harry probably couldn't hear her, but nonetheless, the sound of her voice speaking to him made her feel better. AT least he was still around o speak to. And once again, against her common sense, she shook off the feeling to tell the teachers.   
  


*********   
  


Hermione was wrong. Harry could hear her.   
  


"Please get well."   
  


"I want to," Harry wanted to answer her, "But I'm not sure if I can." The throbbing in his head was growing worse, and if he could move, he was sure he could have hurled from the pain. Hermione's soothing voice drifted through his brain once more. He would try to get well. He would try with all his might. He would get well for her, and yes, even for Malfoy. He knew he must be in pretty bad shape for his worst enemy to help him. 

But then again, Harry had begun to wonder recently if Malfoy was indeed his enemy. A feeling in the pit of his stomach suggested that perhaps he wasn't. Perhaps they didn't hate each other at all. In fact, that was the very thought Harry had been having in potions class as he stared at Draco's back. He had surmised, that it was this thought that had sent him over the edge.   
  
  
  
  
  


Chapter 3- A Prophecy   
  


Hermione and Draco sat on her bed, millions of spell books lying open before them. They had been searching for hours and Ron was now knocking on her door practically every five minuets. She kept telling him to go away and that she was tired, but he almost seemed to sense her lying. 

"Found anything yet?" Draco asked   
  


Hermione shook her head. "Not a dickeybird. You?"   
  


"No." Draco said with a sigh. "We'll be in here all night and I still have to complete my potions homework." 

"Here." Hermione said shoving her potions text and some parchment towards him. "You work on your homework for a little while, and then help me search some more."   
  


Draco took the text and flipped it open to the homework assignment. 'Give an example and explain, about slow acting venoms, and how to further slow the spread and then cure.' Snape was Draco's favorite teacher and potions was easily Draco's best subject, but his homework assignments were dreadfully hard and had to b explained in explicit detail to warrant good marks. 

Draco began flipping through pages and writing out the information that was relevant when Hermione squealed, causing him to blot his homework.   
  


"D'you find something?"   
  


Hermione nodded, her eyes very wide.   
  


"Well, what is it?" Draco asked impatiently   
  


"A Prophecy." she said looking slightly pale, "And I think it's about Harry." she paused, "And us."   
  


**********   
  


Harry woke up feeling slightly better. At least well enough to sit up and look out the window. It was very dark, he could tell that without his glasses. Which meant that there was a good possibility that he missed dinner. However when he reached over to his night stand he saw that someone(Hermione more then likely) had brought him up some food on a napkin plus a small flask of pumpkin juice.   
  


"Good ol' Hermione," he said, reaching for a chicken leg hungrily. He found it hard to believe that only hours ago he was convinced he was going to die. In fact, he felt as though he were back to perfect condition. Just then, he heard a knock at his door.   
  


"Come in," he yelled though a mouth full of food, and in popped Ginny.   
  


"I was worried when you weren't at dinner." she told him as she walked over and sat on his bed.   
  


"I had a headache." Harry decided this wasn't lying, as his head had been throbbing very painfully throughout his temporary lapse of insanity.   
  


"Do you feel better now?" she asked timidly   
  


He nodded. Harry had been dating Ginny for about six months and he liked her very much. Unfortunately, he wasn't as passionate for her, as she was for him. And this caused a great many tiffs and arguments in their relationship. Other then that however, they got along very well, and their sex life was excellent. In fact, he was considering having a go at her when he finished eating.   
  


"I thought maybe you weren't at dinner because you were mad at me," she said staring at him meaningfully, "you know, because of our argument yesterday."   
  


Yesterday's argument had been the same on they had about once a week. Ginny would say 'I love you' and Harry wouldn't say it back. Then she would yell and cry and Harry would try to explain that he liked her very much, he just wasn't in love with her. He made love to her, wasn't that enough(he never said that aloud however)? Eventually she would storm off and call him an insensitive arse and Harry would feel like he needed to go to Madame Pomfrey and take some headache medicine.   
  


"Don't be dumb," Harry said as he finished his meal, "I wouldn't skip out on dinner because you and I had an argument the day before. Honestly Ginny you take everything much too seriously."   
  


Ginny's eyes flashed dangerously, "Well, excuse me Mr. Perfect but how was I to know what was wrong? You never tell me anything!"   
  


Harry sighed and he could feel the dull ache returning, "Please Ginny, I don't want to have this argument again."   
  


"Why not!" Ginny fumed. "Because I want too?"   
  


"Don't be stupid..." Harry started but Ginny exploded again.   
  


"Why don't you love me? All I've ever done is been hopelessly devoted to you!"   
  


"Well, that's not my fault is it?!" Harry replied scathingly, "It's not my fault you've no life of your own." His headache was coming back. He wanted Ginny to leave. And to think, for a blissful five minuets he thought the pain had disappeared.   
  


"You know what Harry Potter?" Ginny yelled standing up, "I'm starting to think you're in love with someone else?"   
  


"Maybe I am." Harry said hardly above a whisper. Instantly, an image of Draco floated up through his brain. They had had detention together in Snape's dungeon pickling cat brains when Harry had picked up an extremely squishy brain and it had squirted slime all over him. He wiped the slime from his glasses and saw Draco smiling at him. But it was a different kind of smile. Not a sneer or a scowl. A genuine smile. The kind Ron would have given him, except somehow, more personal. Draco seemed to realize he had done it however and quickly turned away, but it had lasted long enough to almost confirm Harry's dread that the intense emotion between them may not be hate after all.   
  


"What?!" Ginny screeched   
  


"I said," Harry said through gritted teeth, his headache having returned ten fold with his memory, "to get out."   
  


"Excuse me?" Ginny asked her entire face purpling.   
  


"Get out!" Harry yelled.   
  


Ginny stalked out of the room, slamming the door(which did nothing to help Harry's head) and he collapsed back into the pillows. He needed to relax...before he had another fit like earlier.   
  


*********   
  


"Prophecy? About Potter? And us?" Draco asked curiously setting down his potions homework, "I've never heard of such a thing."   
  


"Me neither," Hermione said, somewhat bewildered, "But it has to be us, I mean everything fits!"   
  


"But wouldn't we have heard about this Prophecy before if involved Potter? I mean, they would have published it in all the 'Fall of the Dark Arts' books that have Potter in them, right?"   
  


"You would think so... but perhaps no one's ever pieced it together before! Although Dumbledore surely...but then again he doesn't put much store in Divination. Neither do I for that matter, but still...." she trailed off thoughtfully.   
  


"Well read it already!" Draco snapped impatiently   
  


"What? Oh! Oh okay." Hermione cleared her throat and began to read.   
  


"A dark lord is born. More powerful and terrible then all his predecessors. I tell you now, so that you may arm yourselves for the upcoming evil. You will know him by this riddle, or clue. The greatest dark master of them all, will mold the hell's angel into his likeness. 

'But behold, God fails us not. For a Champion will be born, under a midsummer's moon. And he will be clay in the Potter's hands, and molded after the Lord's likeness, under the heaven's. 

'Their battle will be long, an Armageddon for the magical world. But God's champion may win! He will have two disciples, a descendant of John and a descendant of Judas, to aid him and under Draco will he find his victory! And evil will once more be sent into the dark underworld."   
  


She finished reading and for a moment the two sat in a thoughtful silence. Finally:   
  


"It says my name right out." Draco said quietly.   
  


"Yes I think it's a clue. Because Draco is also a constellation. Ron and I must be the descendants...."   
  


"I still don't quite get that whole descendants thing?" Draco confessed   
  


"Oh well, Judas and John were disciples of Christ. See, this one nutball philosopher, who actually is the one who wrote this, who supposes that when Christ rose from the dead and gave his power to perform miracles to his disciples that they were actually able to pass it on to there descendants. And that's how there came to be witches and wizards. It's quite interesting actually."   
  


"Oh." Draco said simply. He had never heard that theory before, but then again, his family wasn't exactly religious. He knew about the disciples and all that, from his grandparents making him go to Sunday school and church when he was little. He knew, of course, how Jesus had raised Lazarus fro the dead, and had walked on water and all that, but he had never really thought about it. Though now that he did, it did kind of make sense.   
  


Hermione sat silently, "You will know him by this riddle or clue...You-know-who's real name is Riddle!" 

"Satan will mold him into his likeness...the serpent!" Draco said piecing it together.   
  


"Harry was born in July, that's midsummer! And the heaven's will be his marking? The lightening bolt scar. Lightening is always associated with heaven! Like with Zeus in Greek Mythology!" Hermione cried "It all fits!"   
  


Draco nodded stunned, and then something occurred to him. "Hermione? Wasn't Judas the betrayer?"   
  


********   
  


"Hey Harry? How're you feeling?" Ron asked sitting down on the edge of his bed.   
  


Harry tried to shrug. "M'head hurts" he mumbled.   
  


"Ginny said you guys had an argument so believe me I know how you feel. Her screeching is enough to give anyone a headache!"   
  


Harry managed a weak smile. "Where Hermi?" he asked   
  


"In her room," Ron said, a dark look passing over his face, "Says she's tired."   
  


"Wha' you don' believe her?" Harry asked groggily. He had just shaken off Ginny and now Ron was in here bothering him. Didn't they understand that he wanted to be left alone?   
  


"No, It's just..." Ron sighed, "I dunno. Anyway, I forgot this flask of pumpkin juice in my knapsack after dinner." He placed it on Harry's night stand and stood up, "I'll catch you later okay?"   
  


Harry nodded and thankfully Ron departed. Harry stared at the flask for a moment and then rolling over decided that he wasn't thirsty.   
  



End file.
